I just noticed this thread, since I guess I don't spend that much time here anymore. I think having at least a couple of friends is a positive thing. I've moved so many times that I've found it very difficult to keep long distance friendships. I currently have two very close friends and a lot of casual friends and acquaintances. One of my close friends is exactly my age. We met at our senior center over ten years ago. By close friend, I mean, we can talk about just about anything. We are open about our different beliefs when it comes to religion, but we don't judge each other due to it. My two close friends are Christians, one is a Black Christian who loves her church. The other is a White Christian who hates organized religion, so she never goes to church. She is 20 years younger than I am. We met about 15 years ago, when she had a job helping a former neighbor who needed help with her IADLs. We now refer to each other as sisters. We think alike.
The weird thing to me is that my closest Black friend has turned down invitations to have lunch together and she also turned down an invitation to stay with me when she lost her power for over two weeks. They had heat, but she missed watching tv during the day, but refused to come to my house, even though I told her she could watch whatever she wanted. We mostly talk at the senior center or on the phone. My other friend comes to my house about once a week. She is sometimes our dinner guest too.
Former poster, Jobar used to be a very close friend and while we are still good friends, the relationship has changed a bit, since he now has a partner. We don't see him nearly as often as we did in the past. I've found that when my single friends get married or get into a serious relationship, the nature of the friendship tends to change a bit. My husband and I have lots of casual friends. Our car salesman took us out to lunch yesterday. We like him a lot and enjoy popping into the deanship to visit him every few weeks. Again, he's a Black guy. that we have a lot in common with. I also have several friends who are members of our little atheist group. They are mostly white and female, of various ages. There is also a very fun gay female couple in the group. I love the diversity of my community and my little atheist group. We took one member out to lunch last week. She is dealing with lots of problems right now. Most of my friends have a lot less money than we do, so we are the ones who usually treat them to lunch etc. And, to be honest, I find poor and middle class people to be a lot more fun and interesting compared to most wealthy people. My bro in law is wealthy and his friends always bored me when we used to attend his parties when he was still married. All they talked about was money.
I live in a small Black majority city, so I have more in common with Black folks here then I do with most White folks because most of them are conservative Christians and/or Trump supporters. So, it's hard to find things in common with them. I'm friendly when I see them at our senior center, but that's about it.
I also have a very poor, very dear Black female friend who I love buying little gifts for, as well as buying educational materials for her granddaughter. She thinks of us as family, but I've never told her that we are atheists, as it might be hard for her to understand. She is a joy to be around, but she's not at all intellectual. She's just a kind, loving person, who never complains. I've been to her modest home a few times, but she hasn't been to mine yet. She is always very busy helping her parents, and/or caring for her two grandchildren. I met her at our senior center too. We have a wonderful senior center, so that's a good place to meet new people and get involved with activities or exercise.
I have a neighbor who I see quite often, but she's more like my patient then my friend. She can be a tremendous burden. She complains a lot. Yesterday she called me screaming because her elderly dog had a seizure. The dog has a seizure disorder. I'll leave it at that. I don't want to abandon her, but I've never in my life met anyone like her. Sometimes it's better not to be friendly to a neighbor because you never know what you might be getting into. I think she may be in the early stages of dementia and her family rarely contacts her, so I'm all she has for emotional support and favors. She is divorced and complains about being lonely all the time. She doesn't realize that nobody wants to be around someone who constantly complains. It's sad.
I get what some of you said about work friends. I did keep in touch with a few over the years, but eventually, since we moved, the friendships faded away. One used to visit me or meet me in ATL for lunch about 25 years ago, but that eventually ended. I used to visit another one who lived near ATL but we also drifted apart. We will probably move closer to my son in the next 5 years or so, assuming we live that long. Then we will have to start meeting new people all over again.
But, my husband is my best fiend. We are probably too dependent on each other. We are like Jimmy and Rosalyn were, always holding hands, kissing, and doing most things together. When one of us dies, the other one will feel a tremendous loss. That's the bad thing about being in a long and happy relationship for decades.
I guess it's a good thing to join an organization, or do volunteer work if you want to make new friends. Atheist groups are lots of fun, but it's hard to keep us going, imo. So many of our groups die out after a few years. We have the best senior center here that I've ever seen and you only have to be 50 to join. That's where I've met lots of friendly people. I'm even very friendly with the one who tried to "save" me several months ago. Now we get along very well, and she no longer tries to convince me to come to Jesus.